Category Archives: Attitude

Guest Instructors Are NOT Fortune Telling Vending Machines! T Lawrence-Simon Guest Posts

By LewitwerMarch 10, 2017Attitude, Training

Hey there dangler friends and fans,
I have locked Laura in a closet until she repairs the entire Killian Cog costume collection (haahaa, ok I ripped the seams out, she’s resewing while drinking a bottle of wine and crying “Why would you do this to me?!” but, details details…)
My name is T, I have written here before when Laura was…not available.
I have a new topic I want to share with you all.
Bold thesis statement that I will flesh out further on:

GUEST INSTRUCTORS ARE NOT FORTUNE TELLING VENDING MACHINES!

Ok, let me go back to the beginning. The topic of today’s post has two main scenarios: I teach at ESH Circus Arts in Boston, we’re known as quite an awesome circus school, so we get a lot of people travelling through who hear about us and want to come take a lesson while they are in town. The other scenario is that often, I get flown to a school somewhere else who wants me to offer workshops, and while I’m there offer some times to their students for private lessons. What both of these scenarios have in common is that the instructor doesn’t know much about the student they are doing the lesson with. They may or may not have ever met them before, and if they have, it could have been a while since they last saw this student and don’t know what progress they’ve made or not made in their aerial training.

So having experienced this situation on my home turf, and countless times while guest teaching at another school, I wanted to make a useful primer for the students that like taking privates from new (to them) instructors. I really love teaching students all over, and getting to help them progress in their aerial life, but I have experienced some roadblocks that hinder the lesson from being the greatest it can be. Below I’ve broken down the roadblocks into categories, and offer suggestions for how to better set up the lesson if you feel like you fall in that category.

HELP THEM BE PREPARED

When you set up the private in advance, whether with your/their school or them directly, send along a video of you in the air (can be an instagram link or just a quick minute long sequence you uploaded in a private link on youtube). This helps the instructor get a grasp for what level you’re at, and maybe what kind of stuff you might need to work on. Going into a private lesson completely blind is like being a lawyer going into a courtroom with NO clue what type of law they will be needing to know to defend their client. It’s not that we don’t have it all in our brains, but if you request “3000 ways of getting into crossback straddle”, I might want to prepare by writing them all down so my brain doesn’t skip any during our lesson. Some people might think this is an imposition or they don’t wanna bother the teacher in advance. If watching a one minute aerial video of a student you are going to teach is a bother, IMO that is not a teacher that is worth taking a lesson from. Now having said that, if this was during a teaching tour where I was teaching at 17 schools in a row, and had hours of private lessons in each place, I might not have the time to sit down and watch all these videos, BUT at least you sent it, and that’s great.

A PRIVATE LESSON SHOULD NOT BE LIKE A BORED GROUP OF FRIENDS DECIDING WHERE TO GO TO DINNER

So, private lessons cost money, you are paying for an hour or more of my knowledge and safe instruction and my expertise to do it well. So, why are you willing to throw that money down to learn if, when the time comes, you have no tangible goals or desires. This conversation happens way too frequently:

T: Hi there, are you my 3 o’clock lesson?
STUDENT: Yeah, hi I’m Laura Witwer. (this is a completely random name I made up in place of naming an actual student, all resemblance to any person living or dead is completely coincidental)
T: Awesome, we’re on trapeze today right?
STUDENT: Yeah.
T: Great, so what are we working on today?
STUDENT: I don’t know, what kind of stuff do you want to do?

HOLD UP! Yes, I love teaching, and yes I love meeting new students and stuff, but this private lesson is not about me. The reason I am probably being flown to your school is because I have a pretty big skillset, and I teach it quite well. So I am game for pretty much anything that falls under the category of what I can teach. Please, bring me anything. If it doesn’t fit under my skillset, then we can have a conversation about that, and figure out how I can be of service to you. If it doesn’t actually fit in your skillset (i.e. person who can’t really invert cleanly above the ground who says they want to learn some big drop they saw in a show) at least I can know where you want to go, and I will get you closer with helpful drills and conditioning methods, or a progression that will eventually get you to where you are going.

The last two scenarios go hand in hand, and lead me to the title of this blog post:

I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DON’T KNOW YOUR LIFE. I DON’T KNOW YOUR CHOICES: GUEST INSTRUCTORS ARE NOT FORTUNE TELLERS

So, I walk in, I see my student warming up on the mats- (quick thing, this is for any private lessons EVER: when you book the lesson with the space, ask if you are allowed to warm up beforehand. Then, actually GET THERE early and warm up beforehand. This sounds like a gross statement, but I have made so much money watching people warm up because they arrived the minute before their lesson started, and I of course will not be letting them just hop up on the aerial equipment with no proper warm-up)
-back to what I was saying:
I walk in, they are warming up, they do a climb or two, they seem fairly able, like they’ve been doing this a while and they have good technique and stuff.
I say “So what would you like to work on in this lesson?”
STUDENT: “I don’t know, show me something new.”
*TIRE SCREECH*

This is my 2nd least favorite type of private lesson. There, I said it. I get where the idea is coming from, they are doing pretty well at their school, they have a pretty broad vocabulary, and they’re feeling a little stuck/bored with their school’s curriculum, so here’s this travelling teacher, who apparently has a pretty big following, he probably knows a lot of stuff beyond the vocabulary you do. This totally makes sense, but here’s the catch. To teach you something new, I would have to know every single thing you know to make sure that what I am offering is in fact new to you. Read the above sentence 3 times. Yeah, a pretty tall order, amirite?

This topic and the next topic share solutions, so please read below to find solutions to this mind-reader scenario.

I’M NOT A VENDING MACHINE

I find the “Show me something new” student, is often the same student who wants to try a trick once, just to learn the basic mechanic of it, and then move on to the next skill so they can learn THE MOST skills in one lesson. This isn’t really that useful; sure, you may or may not have learned 16 new positions/drops/maneuvers, but you didn’t get any finer points and training tips from me. You just put in the private lesson money to the aerial skill vending machine and poked all the buttons until your money’s worth of candy came out. Learning new skills is not at all wrong to want, but let’s think about how many, and how we approach them.

Besides the lack of finer detail learned, and this is maybe a more personal aspect (to which you are permitted to respond with: “you are being hired for a service, it doesn’t really matter what you are feeling”) is that it also makes me feel a bit…used. To me, teaching is a collaboration, they way I teach and what I teach is informed by the students I work with. If I am not reading my audience, and letting that input guide me to better teach them, I am not doing my job well. So when someone just wants to treat me like a vending machine, I just feel a lack of human connection. I get that you are paying good money for me to be teaching you, and so you want to get the most bang for your buck. I get that you might feel stagnant in your home school’s curriculum at this moment, and I’m new and exciting for you. So, how can we work together to help you feel successful?

SOME REWORDING FOR THE SCENARIO WHERE YOU EXPECT ME TO BE A MIND-READING VENDING MACHINE

“So right now in class, we’ve been working on our double star drops, and I would love to get your feedback on that to start. We’ve been entering the stars from the knee hook, and the leg straight up the silk, if you have any other cool entries, that would be awesome.
I don’t really have a specific set of skills I’d like to learn, but I do suck at back balances, could you help me with that? (This will most likely lead me for the rest of the hour, once I see what your imbalances are, and can help you progress past them)
I’m a total drop-junkie. At my school, we’ve worked on bombs, single star, double star, 360, and windmills. Could you show me any fun variations to those, and/or maybe we could work on combining drops.
How many ways are there to get into an S-wrap? (haahaa, then immediately go and book 3 more hours of private lessons, it’s gonna be a long night)
Can I show you a sequence that I’m working on, and that will help you get a feel for what kind of skills I like? Then you can think of some cool things to add to the sequence to spice it up?

So there you have it friends, I hope this has helped you in some way. Maybe the next time a guest teacher is in town, you can try some of these, and see if it makes you feel more productive. Hopefully Laura is done sewing, and maybe she’ll forgive me some day.
Until then dear danglers,
Fly Away!
Love,
T
www.HoopArtist.com

Learning is ACTIVE! The SassyPants NYC Method

By LewitwerSeptember 3, 2015Attitude, Training

Learning is a two-way street, my lovelies. Gone are the “open head, insert knowledge” days of education (praise be!). The students who learn the most are the ones who engage most fully with the material, whether it’s nekkid mud wrestling or aerial silks. Are you meeting your teacher half way, or expecting them to do all the work?

Circus Is Active

Circus is active (WHAT??!!). Whether you’re a visual, aural, or kinesthetic learner, at the end of the day, the magic of circus actually happens when you get up and flip/flop/balance/splat/twirl/spin/perch/swing/clench/slide/pee a little/heave/fly/fling yourself on your chosen apparatus or a mat. We all process information in wildly different ways, and each of us has a preferred method of encountering new material. Even more fun? We may not even know what that preferred method is! But, one thing is certain: you ain’t gonna learn it without actually doing it.

My “New York Method” of Aerial Learning

New York is fast-paced and decisive – you either do your thing, or get out ‘da way. In SassyPants Aerial group classes, if you just stare at me waiting for Divine Inspiration, you lose your turn!

My students here in NYC are a varied group for sure, and not lacking in the personality department (yeah, I’m looking at you, Tuesday 6:45). Some like to talk through everything before they approach the silks, some have to see it, and some just have to get up there and slog through it.

When encountering something new, try this:

Watch demos carefully, and try to identify which base skill the move is built on.
Listen to verbal cues, and do exactly and only what your coach asks you to do.
Do what you know, and ask for clarification. Ask for a spot if you feel unsafe doing a move on your own.
Completely mystified? Ask what the first tiny step is. Then do that step until you’re comfortable.

Please don’t:

Be on your phone, daydreaming, or chatting while your coach is demoing or speaking. Pay attention.
Just stand there and stare. I cannot do it for you, so you’re going to have to meet me at least half way. If you’re super confused, ask what the first step is, ask for a demo if you need it, and begin. You don’t need to analyze “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” before you attempt a climb on silks. You DO need to touch the fabrics.
Insist that the teacher focus solely on you. If you feel paralyzed unless the coach is right next to you, it might be time to book a private, or switch to a lower level class.
Sulk and get an attitude (this will make your teacher stabby).

New stuff can be scary, confusing, and intimidating as an adult. The more active you are in the process of your learning (literally ACTIVE), the easier it gets. Have fun and stay safe! Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

Impostor Syndrome – Do YOU Belong Here?

By LewitwerJuly 2, 20156 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training

Dear Danglers! I’ve missed you! In case you hadn’t heard, I had the ridiculously amazing experience of competing in German Wheel World Competition in Italy a couple of weeks ago. I just got back, having spent the remaining two weeks eating my way through Venice, Florence, and Rome (climbing is going to be hilarious this week – even my most forgiving spandex is tight). Friends, this was a PEAK LIFE EXPERIENCE. Know what else it was? Terrifying, humbling, exhilarating, and inspirational. And I had a big old run in with an old pal: impostor syndrome.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is the sneaking suspicion that one of these things (YOU!!!) is not like the others, and doesn’t belong in the illustrious company you find yourself in. If you haven’t encountered it, one of three things is probably happening: either you are extraordinarily well-adjusted (in which case you can stop reading now), you are enjoying a moment of being a big fish in a small pond and have no idea what else is out there, or you are Isabelle Chasse, and are in fact a superhero. Thing is, almost everyone who’s reaching high and far has a moment where they find themselves among extraordinarily talented people they’ve been YouTube stalking for years… and then it hits. The feeling that maybe there has been a horrible mistake.

For me, it came out of nowhere. I was fine! I was excited and a little bit nervous, but I was totally good. I stepped out on the gym floor to start my warm-up, got a good look at my competition, and stopped in my tracks. I went icy cold, even though the gym was easily over 90 degrees. I have never known anything more clearly in my life: I did not belong here. I knew I was a fraud, and, pretty soon everyone else would know it too.

My coach Chris took one look at my stricken face, and nudged me towards my wheel. I started my opening moves, but something felt wrong. The floor felt too slick, but the wheel’s rubber, softening in the hot gym, felt too slow. Nothing was going over – nothing was working. Now, not only was I a baby beginner in a room full of the best wheelers in the world, the routine I had practiced for over a year was falling apart. Panic crept up behind my eyes, and they welled up with tears. All I could hear in my head was that I did not belong here.

Wolfgang saw the tears, and threatened to make me do vault if I cried. I hate vault. Chris leaned over and said, “Try everything three times. If it’s not going over by the third time, then we worry. Trust it.” So I did. Sure enough, by time number three, everything was going over just fine. By competition time three days later, everything felt just right; weirdly, my feeling of being an imposter had vanished. What had changed in those three days? Sh*t got real.

Just the Facts, Ma’am

In a competition where most artists were doing C & D level tricks, I was doing mostly A’s with the occasional B. I was not at their level. I couldn’t meaningfully compete with them, but I could be amazed, inspired, and caught on fire with the excitement of what was going on around me.
I earned my spot on the team fair and square. I worked my ass off on that routine, and I’m really, really proud of it. It wasn’t just the physical work I did, but the mental and emotional challenges I trained through.
I had a good run. All that rehearsing paid off, and I had a clean routine. It wasn’t perfect, but it went really, really well. I didn’t fall down, fart audibly, miss a trick, or freak out. WIN.

Moment of Truth

We all have moments of Impostor Syndrome. We want to be good, we want to succeed, we want to be worthy of the opportunities that come our way; we want to be equal to them, to have earned them somehow. I don’t really know what to say about this, except that it’s complicated. At some point, we hopefully get handed something that is just a little out of our league. And, if we are brave, we jump at the opportunity (because – what? We’re going to let it slide through our fingers? I don’t think so.). So, when we are in this place where we are so clearly the lowest rung on the totem pole, what can we do but leave our crap at the door? Everything from posturing to insecurity. If you didn’t misrepresent yourself, if you’ve been honest with yourself and others about the scope of your abilities, then drink it all in. Be a crazy sponge of learning, and soak up every ounce of the awesomeness you’re surrounded with. That kind of humility is good medicine in our business, and I look forward to more of it. Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

There’s More to Life Than Turning Tricks, Mathilda!

By LewitwerMay 8, 20153 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training

Hello, Dear Danglers! I’m off to Washington to teach some workshops for C2Air and the lovely Rebecca Phillips! But before I go, let’s have a chat.

Students come to classes for a bazillion reasons – to frolic in the air, run away and join the circus, get buffity-buff arms, you name it. Part of learning a performance art (as opposed to going to a group fitness class) is the attention paid to technique, and the pursuit of excellence – you’re not just heaving your limbs around so you can cross exercise off your list for today, you’re aiming to hone a set of skills. So, my question for you today is: are you in it for the long haul, or are you just about turning a few tricks?

It’s a Process, Mathilda.

Remember last summer when you bought that super cute top? The one with the neon green fringe and the tropical flowers that you wore every day for two months (hey – I’m not judging you…..)? Now, remember the day you bypassed it in favor of your NEW neon orange top with the rhinestones and tulle? I’m sure this phenomenon has a fancy psychological term, but I’m gonna call it The Law of Diminishing Bling – when the new and shiny wears off, and the thing we loved beyond anything doesn’t beckon to us with the siren song it used to croon. When this happens with a skill we’re trying to master, we’re faced with the uncomfortable realization that the long walks on the beach and champagne at breakfast days are over, and have been replaced with beer on the couch in comfy clothes. Is your first impulse to start sniffing around for something to press your New and Shiny buttons? Oh, Mathilda.

It Takes a Damned Long Time to Get Good

When the slog of the long haul stretches out in front of us, it’s so tempting to hanker for MORE MORE MORE NEW MOVES MORE NEW MOVES TEACH ME SOMETHING NEW RIGHT NOW!!! While variety is the spice of life and all that, and it’s important to sprinkle some NEW into your work on a regular basis, I’m sad to tell you that the vast majority of training boils down to (some very un-sexy) repetition repetition repetition. I regularly see students chomping at the bit for NEW! MORE! SHINY!, but if I’m still having to give you basic technique notes on your inversions, then you need to change your focus, friend. New may be fun, but it’s not going to fix what’s broken – it just gives you new broken. But take heart, you’re not doomed to a purgatory of the same movement forever.

Keeping the Romance Alive

If you can’t have as much NEW! MORE! SHINY! as you want (and none of us can), here are a few ways to spice things up.

Video. Please believe me when I say you have plenty to work on! Video your work, and/or ask your coach what one thing would make the biggest difference in your training. Set a hard and fast goal (straight legs on your inversions, for instance), and attach a reward to it’s completion (a neon yellow top, perhaps?).
Explore yourself. Not that way, Mathilda! Geez. There’s nothing more exciting than watching your students become more themselves in the air – discovering their own personal style, and mining all the quirks that will make for fabulous and interesting performance. In addition to perfecting your technique, begin playing with small variations, an arm here, a leg here, opening the fabric, etc. How do YOU move? Start discovering, because the world doesn’t need any more cookie-cutter aerialists.
Set a performance goal. Sign yourself up for a showcase, competition, or anything else that gets your engines revved. Not only is it invigorating for your practice, but it will strengthen performance skills, build stamina, and increase your personal levels of badassery!
Keep a training journal. Anything goes! Make notes on moves, corrections, ideas, etc. This one thing will juice up your training in ways you can’t imagine.
Hit the YouTubes. There’s a dizzying array of performance to inspire and excite you! Many of these artists have put in their 10,000 hours, and it shows.

What puts the spice back in your training? Comment below! Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

The Sometimes Student: Why Consistency Counts

By LewitwerOctober 30, 20142 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training, Uncategorized

Laura & Angela’s Halloween show fun!

Are you happy with your aerial ninja progression? Seeing small but consistent gains in strength, stamina, and awesomeness? No? Hmmmmm. Are you perhaps sabotaging your success by popping in and out of training like a jack-in-the-box on steroids?

The Sometimes Student

If you train long enough, you will have to take a break, either because of life circumstances, finances, injury, pregnancy, the list goes on and on. It always cracks me up just a little when students come back after a hiatus and say, “Miss Laura! I’ve lost so much (fill in the blank – strength, stamina, hair, etc.)!” Of course you have, stop looking so shocked! If you don’t use it, you lose it. BOOM (that was the sound of some tough love being dropped). The remedy is simple – get your butt back to class and regain your Sassy Status – you’ve got this, and it is 100% doable. But, what about the Sometimes Student?

The Sometimes Student comes to class religiously for a few weeks or months, then drops off the face of the earth for a while. When they return, it’s all, “I’m going to be in class every day for the next six weeks! I can’t believe that I lost my invert! I’m going to train so hard!” Then, after a few weeks of training, ……. crickets. Aaaaaaaaand the cycle starts all over again.

A Fancy Quiz for You to Take – “Am I Consistent?”

T/F I do not stretch for weeks on end, then I have two hour marathon stretching sessions because I realized I lost my split and now I can’t walk because I overdid it and I’m fairly sure I tore my hammy.
T/F I haven’t done pull-ups in months, but I’m going to go do 100 of them as soon as I finish reading this post because I feel guilty. I will then be very sore and cancel my aerial class because OW.

It’s a short quiz. You know if this is you. 😉

Why Consistency Counts

If you’re swinging from the rafters solely for the sweet release of it all, or to torture your muscles in unconventional ways, then you won’t feel the Sting of Stuck-ness as keenly as someone who is really aiming to see meaningful progression. So, how do you get to a meaningful progression? Time and effort. There are truly no substitutes for just showing up and doing the work.

(** If you ARE coming to class regularly but not seeing the results you’d like, click here!)

We are an Instant Results culture. We want All The Things Right Now This Very Instant, and if I have to work for it, there must be something wrong with me, you, or it (confession: I fall prey to this, too – all the time). We want our internet fast, our weight loss fast, our food fast. But, circus training is kind of the slow food movement of the physical world. Muscles take time to grow, bodies take time to stretch, neurons take time to wire together to create amazing new patterns. Fast just won’t work here.

Sometimes, breaks are unavoidable. Sometimes, breaks are great and can actually push your training to the next level! But, if you’re not training consistently in the air, don’t be surprised when your results are wobbly. Consistency counts, friends! Do everything in your power to just show up. Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

“Hey – I Can Do That!” STOP! You’re Not as Awesome as You Think… Self Efficacy in Circus

By LewitwerJune 26, 20145 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training, Uncategorized

… or, maybe you are. But one of the keys to mastering any apparatus? Having an accurate estimation of your abilities. Without that, you may think you’re more of a badass than you actually are, OR you may be way too hard on yourself without reason. Knowing “where you are” allows you to direct your training by:

understanding whether you’re ready to attempt moves or train by yourself
gaining a sense of which tricks you’re ready to tackle
playing to your strengths (strong shoulders, flexy back, etc.)

The Process of Learning Circus

Learning a single move goes something like this:

“I’m excited to learn this! I don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing yet (and OOOWWWW!!!!), but this is cool!

“OK – it’s not pretty, but I’m getting through it without dying! I still need a spot or eyes on me though.”

“I can do this on my own! I’m comfortable with how this goes, but my knees/feet/wrists, etc are ugly. Needs cleaning.”

“I don’t hate this on video! My lines are clean, and I’m super comfy.”

“This feels like part of me. I can trouble shoot it easily, and I want to play. Time to dance it and make it my own!”

Learning an apparatus follows a really similar arc.

“This is amazing! I am so bad! But I love it, so I don’t care.”

“Look at meeeeeeee! I can do stuff! I still suck, but I’m seeing some progress!”

“Ugh. This is hard. I am seeing no progress. I should be BETTER than this by now! I must be the worst at this. Ever.”

“HEY!!!! I GOT IT I GOT IT! That thing that I’ve been working on for 25 weeks! I got it! Maybe I don’t suck?”

“Seeing some progress! I’m not the best, but I’m surely not the worst!”

“OK! I’m working comfortably. I have a lot of vocab under my belt, my instructor doesn’t have to tell me to straighten my arm/leg/etc.”

“I’m pretty good at this! Time to create an act.”

Self Efficacy in Circus

Seems pretty straight forward, right? BUT, what happens when you get hung up in an “I suck” loop? Or, you go right from “I pointed my toes today in class!” to “I’m a pre-professional student!” Both mental states suggest that you may have an inaccurate understanding of where you fall in the learning arc. That inaccurate understanding can lead to injuries, feelings of intense defeat, and/or wildly inefficient training.

The best way to keep yourself “real”? Check in with your (professional) coaches, and talk to them about the training arc in your discipline. Video yourself. Watch the best performers you can on YouTube. Ask for feedback. Be aware of how you talk to yourself. Research your industry. Train train train. And put on your listening ears.

Here’s a fantastic article by the NY Times about how self efficacy affects training in regards to injury (you have to make an acct, but it’s quick, easy, free, and WORTH IT).

Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

When Training Hurts Your Heart

By LewitwerMarch 17, 201419 commentsAttitude, Training, Uncategorized

Photo by Masaru Watanabe

So, Dear Danglers, I know I promised you a bloggie on class etiquette (it’s coming!), but I find I have something else on my heart today. Indulge me, won’t you?

Tough Training – When Your Heart is Breaking

Going “back to school” with German wheel lessons was one of the best (and hardest) things to ever happen to me as a teacher. I cannot wrap my brain around what I’ve learned about myself as a student, person, teacher– literally every lesson is a revelation. I would love to say that it’s been a series of pleasant discoveries, but it’s mostly been a lot of “ugly crying” and sheepish apologies. *sigh*

I went to Wheel Weekend in Chicago this past weekend– love it!!! I get to spend time with the superstars of wheel and train with some of the best coaches in the world. I wound up being spotted by a top-level coach I hadn’t worked with before. I was nervous, so I chose a move that was working reasonably well, but I still didn’t feel comfy doing alone. He tried to teach me a new technique, but I just couldn’t get it into my body, and failed again and again… and again. After about ten tries, he threw up his hands and said, “OK – I think we leave this.” And he turned abruptly, and walked away.

He didn’t come back to spot me that day, or the next, or the next, spending the majority of his time with the advanced students. I was OK with that. What I wasn’t OK with was being given up on – designated unteachable. Sounds like such a little thing, doesn’t it? But I was left breathless with hurt. I felt all my shortcomings and failures as a student rushing up at me. Something broke in that moment.

Teachers – Your Words Carry More Weight than You Can Imagine

Today, I am left with a Very Uncomfortable Feeling. How many times have my careless words bruised a sensitive student? How many times has a heart been broken because I’ve had a bad day? How often have my students – who I LOVE – felt the full measure of my frustration, either with them or with my inadequacies as a teacher? How often has a student left my class with their light a little dimmer?

It’s a horrifying thought – that in a moment of frustration or carelessness, I might create scars that last for years, if not forever. That I might unwittingly kill the spark of love a student has for the work, and replace it with the kind of dull, sick feeling I have now whenever I look at my wheel. We forget – we forget how much responsibility we have been given to keep them safe – not just their bodies, but their spirits. Their heart for the work.

I jumped into Johannes (my beautiful wheel) last night for the first time since The Incident. Let’s just say it was a hard class, for a number of reasons. I’m a pick-yourself-up-dust-yourself-off-and-get-your-ass-in-gear kind of person, but every time I rocked, my failure rose up to meet me. I found it more painful to be in my wheel than out of it.

For the Student – Moving On

I’m not exactly sure what to say here, because it’s new territory for me too. I cannot bear the thought of a life without wheel, so I suppose forging ahead is the only option.

Speaking as a teacher, I can tell you this. We have horrible days, frustrating moments, times when you terrify us. We have times when we feel like we’ve tried everything, and that we are failing you. And that is our shit, not yours. And it’s unacceptable when we make it yours. So, when you find your light a little dimmer, when your hand on the fabric or the bar feels more like condemnation than joy, here is a piece I come back to again and again:

“To Have Without Holding”, by Marge Piercy

“Learning to love differently is hard, love with the hands wide open, love with the doors banging on their hinges, the cupboard unlocked, the wind roaring and whimpering in the rooms rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds that thwack like rubber bands in an open palm.

It hurts to love wide open stretching the muscles that feel as if they are made of wet plaster, then of blunt knives, then of sharp knives. It hurts to thwart the reflexes of grab, of clutch; to love and let go again and again. It pesters to remember the lover who is not in the bed, to hold back what is owed to the work that gutters like a candle in a cave without air, to love consciously, conscientiously, concretely, constructively.

I can’t do it, you say it’s killing me, but you thrive, you glow on the street like a neon raspberry, You float and sail, a helium balloon bright bachelor’s button blue and bobbing on the cold and hot winds of our breath, as we make and unmake in passionate diastole and systole the rhythm of our unbound bonding, to have and not to hold, to love with minimized malice, hunger and anger moment by moment balanced.”

Sorry if I’ve overshared, hope it’s not awkward when we see each other next. 😉 Keep your heads up, Dear Danglers. Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

Defensive Much? Your Ability to Deal with Criticism Determines Success in the Air AND on the Ground!

By LewitwerAugust 8, 20133 commentsAttitude, The Biz, Training

Truth? Criticism is hard. It can hurt. Even the most constructive of comments can sometimes land wrong, and let’s not even get to the shooting-straight-from-the-hip kind! What’s a sensitive artist soul to do? Armor up, Gorgeous – criticism is a gold mine.

Why It’s So Valuable

I recently gave a student (who wishes to go pro) some rigging corrections, and if looks could kill, I would have forks stabbed into my eyeballs and at least 20 knives impaling key organs. Instead of asking questions and embracing an opportunity to learn, girlfriend shut down. What a shame! The older I get, the more I realize that the world is FULL of people with oodles of things to teach you if you shut your mouth and open your ears (which, admittedly, I could do a lot more of myself!). Got an expert giving you corrections, advice, or critiques? JUMP on that train, friend! Even if it’s not info you can use right now, or if it doesn’t align with your goals or beliefs, come at it with a receptive heart and see what you can find. Brace yourself – you may be mistaken, working inefficiently, or seeing a very narrow slice of the whole picture.

When to Listen and When to Mentally Moon Them

Listen:

when they’re an expert and know more than you do – ask them lots of questions!
when they’re your target audience – listen carefully, this is marketing gold
when they have a very different point of view – this can shake you up and encourage you to see more than just your backyard

Moon them:

if they are decidedly NOT an expert
when they’re far from your target audience
when they’re abusive or aggressive (you can still consider their input even if it’s delivered in an indelicate way, just mentally moon them while you do it)
they are someone you suspect of having impure motives, or not considering what is best for you

How to Thwart the Tantrum You REALLY WANT TO THROW

Truth? I really struggle with this. If I’m in a receptive mood, no problemo. BUT, if I’m having an (ahem) “sensitive” day, all criticism is like nails on a chalkboard. And you know what? I lose. When I succumb to defensiveness, and essentially stuff my fingers in my ears and scream LALALALALALALALA, I lose. When I think of some of the opportunities that have passed me by because my ego got in the way, I cringe. But – I can do better! And so can you.

Be a student, even if it’s just for a few minutes
Write it down – there’s something in the act of writing things down that makes them feel less personal
Speaking of, don’t take it personally – easier said than done, for sure! Especially when it FEELS very personal. State your point of view without resorting to defensiveness, and listen to see if there’s some truth in what they’re saying. Asking questions is a great way to do this!
If you’re getting defensive and emotional, explain that you’re not in a place to really hear them right this second, but you value what they have to say. Ask if you can continue the conversation another time, and then do it! People understand!

The more we can really listen and take good criticism, the better we get. Period. This is something I’m really committed to working on – come join me! Love and pull-ups, Laura

For more on becoming a better student, have a look at this blog post! 🙂

Are we too thin-skinned to handle criticism? Interesting read!

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

Training When You’re Pregnant – the 1st Trimester

By LewitwerJanuary 31, 201325 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training, Uncategorized

Hey mamas and potential mamas! Here’s my take on pregnancy, training, and hauling your butt back up into the air after The Blessed Event – three part series. Hearing the pitter patter of little feet? Let’s get started!

Note: I am not a medical practitioner. This post is in no way meant to be a substitute for medical advice. Check with your doctor before attempting or continuing aerial training of any kind while pregnant.

The First Trimester = Your Head in the Toilet

In 2009, I got to ~~suffer through~~ enjoy the miracle that is pregnancy. My pregnancy was healthy, but my body reacted STRONGLY to the hormones, leaving me with a condition called hyperemesis. This meant that I had the delightful experience of vomiting 6-12 times a day for nine months. FUNZIES! The likelihood of you having a similar experience is very small, but rule #1? Expect the unexpected. Pregnancy is WILDLY different for everyone. Having said that, let’s chat about the changes you can probably expect in the first trimester.

Nausea! Around weeks 6-8, you can expect to feel anything from a faint nausea to full-blown head in the toilet fun. The downside? Obvious. The upside? This can be a sign of a healthy pregnancy, and it’s exceedingly common – it means your body is cranking out those hormones!
Swelling! You may start to notice a general “puffiness”, and even a little tummy pooch as your body retains fluids and the uterus expands rapidly to give the fetus room to grow without squishing it.
Exhaustion! Your body is working double time to increase your blood volume, and progesterone soars. This means fatigue, and often a general feeling of malais.
Super sore boobies! Seriously – like glass. Hormones again!
Lots of trips to the potty! You pee a lot, even in the first trimester.
Food aversions or cravings! Things that previously smelled or tasted wonderful may now send you running for the loo. I gave up coffee (COFFEE!) in the time it took to walk into the kitchen and moan, “Ugh! Coffee! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” I craved anything in a cream sauce. The more butter the better!
Heartburn & constipation! The peristalsis muscles that move food through your digestive track are affected by hormones too – they slow down, often resulting in more digestive fun.
Crazypants emotions! I was completely bonkers – crying over toilet paper commercials, screaming at my husband because he “forgot to put the seat down and does he really want me to fall in and get stuck and be there for hours and lose circulation in my legs and then they’ll fall off…” You get the picture.
Happiness! Through all the barfing, peeing, cravings, and cray, the most wonderful feeling of knowing that you will love this little person to distraction, and that you will never be the same.

Training Through the 1st Trimester

First things first! You and your midwife or OB/GYN need to have a frank discussion about your training. This blog post is in NO WAY meant as a substitute for medical advice – I am not a medical practitioner, and I am not advising you to pursue any course of action. What I can do is tell you about my experience, and share what helped me along the way, but you’ve gotta check with your doc!

I was able to train safely throughout my pregnancy (I went into labor while teaching a silks class!), and many, many aerialists with healthy pregnancies have been able to do the same. Here are some things which you may find useful:

If you are part of an aerial or circus duo, have a conversation with your partner (ideally BEFORE you get pregnant) about your plans and how it may affect your work. It’s great to have a person in mind who can take your place during your absence so your partner doesn’t lose too much work.
To combat nausea, you’ve got about 1000 options (Google it!). Snacking FREQUENTLY on crackers and other dry, tasteless foods may help. For me, the only thing that really did it was acupuncture – worth a try if your nausea is severe!
If you’re swollen, but have to perform, Spanx to the rescue! Use two pairs if you need it. 😉
Actively schedule more downtime – rest is your best friend. Nap like it’s your job.
Plan your potty breaks before a show – try to wee 10 minutes before you go out so you don’t encounter any surprises.
Find the softest bra you can – try to avoid padded, push-up, or underwire contraptions.
Cry whenever you need to. Get crazy, get happy, get dreamy – it’s all part of the ride.

Our first look at Sebastian – boots & rock & roll hand courtesy of Daddy!

And there you have it! First trimester fun! You may have all of these symptoms, you may have none – it’s just one big guessing game. You may find that you feel fantastic! You may find that you feel like you have the flu and have no interest in training whatsoever. Just keep in mind that your body is REALLY good at setting limits now – respect them. Now is not the time to push hard (that comes later), just take really, really good care of yourself. Tune in next time for the 2nd trimester – the happy zone! Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.

You’re Too Fat for Circus Training (and Other BS You May Believe)

By LewitwerDecember 6, 201220 commentsAttitude, Awesomeness, Training, Uncategorized

Many years ago, in ye Days of Olde, I made like a ballerina. I danced quite a bit from elementary school through college, and a little when I moved to NYC (nothing terribly amazing). Man – there is nothing like staring at yourself in a leotard and tights in a full length mirror for four hours a day to make you painfully hyper-aware of your body! See, I’ve always been just a little too much in every way – a little too loud, a little too opinionated, a little too big for pointe shoes. Then, I found circus. And suddenly, I was just right.

What’s the difference? Why did I feel like I had struck body image gold? Because suddenly, the emphasis was off my body shape, and onto the amazing things I could make it do. Instead of looking at fellow artists and wondering how I could get that thin, I wondered how I could get that strong, or flexible, or engaging. I cried with joy (and pure amazement) when I did my first full pull-up, and it felt like Christmas morning every time I found a new muscle. It felt so good to celebrate my body instead of fight it!

Body Beautiful: Learning to Appreciate Your Miracle

One of the things I love most about circus is the sheer variety of bodies and the astonishing things they can do. Long and willowy, compact and powerful, generously sensual, tight and angular, and everything in between. Not to get all woo-woo-touchy-feely with you here, but there really is only one you – one body just like yours. Try this (actually do it you’ll be glad you did).

where are you strong?
where are you flexible?
where do you need to build strength?
what is uniquely beautiful about your body?
what do you love about the way you move?

That – right there – is the blueprint for your training! Train to your strengths, work on your weak spots (we’ve all got ’em), focus on cultivating your own beautiful style. If you’re a larger-bodied human, very tight in the muscles, working around a dodgy fill-in-the-blank, etc, the work has to be modified. But so what? It doesn’t mean you don’t start. It means you modify the work to suit YOUR body, not the other way around.

Circus has room for every body, every age, every creative soul who just doesn’t feel like being bound by gravity today. Don’t get me wrong – I still love to dance. And I understand the emphasis on body shape. I do. I’m just opting out, and I invite you to do the same. Are you more lush than lithe? More angular than agile? More chutzpa than hero? There is room for you in this wonderful community. Circus doesn’t demand that you start with a certain shape or ability, or that you be able to do 20 pull-ups on day one while sitting on your own head. It DOES demand that you put in the time, do the work (without whining), and understand that amazing things take time to train up to. Here’s to the journey! Love and pull-ups, Laura

As always, if you like this post, share it on your blog, the F-books, Twitter, and wherever else you crazy kids are sharing things these days.